maverick114

It really is the new beginning I’ve been anticipating, like when you know you’re gonna be happy sometime. You know there’s so much more to life.

Well, thing really have changed... And it’s not just because I met Kathy, infact I think meeting her was as a result of sorting myself out in the latter part of 2009.  I’m so excited about 2010; it’s been the best Holiday I can remember in a good while.

So New Years was another disaster, I headed down to Bournemouth with a couple of mates to meet up with Dom and his Sis for what was meant to be a big party down there but it turned out pretty terrible.  It got to the point where I literally looked at my car and then my watch at thought “Fuck, if I leave now I won’t make it back for Midnight, but 1am is good enough... I can also pop by the bar, find Kathy and surprise her!”

I grabbed my bag, jumped in the car and left. Now, It’s not a first for me disappearing and stuff, I am a free spirit and no-one will hold me down but I bet some people think I left so I could see Kathy, no no no that’s wrong. Of course it would have been amazing to see her, but I wouldn’t have left just to see her in that way. We’d spent the previous night together instead anyway! I was pretty annoyed, and just needed to get outta there... At least Ruislip might have been fun and not full of idiots. I dunno, students are beginning to grate on me a little.

So, I drove and drove as fast as I could finally getting back into my town, parked the car and walked down to the bar to see if I could catch her outside having a cigarette. No. Instead, I talk to the DJ for a while before getting spotted by her friends who thought I was being a massive weirdo. Don’t really blame them though...

I did continue this entry, for ages, but the my brother accidentally switched off the router and I ended up losing it all AGAIN. Not having much luck with this lately... Watch this space, however, my message to the world right now is things are positive. Love life.

I just lost everything I'd written... Fucking Facebook chat, so in summary:

I'm SCARED... What am I getting myself into? I'm really into this girl. She's probably the first person I've spent an entire day with, without geting bored. I think I've met my match... I'll win though. :) I am kinda totally bowled over though... But ssssh. :P

I ran for ages tonight... Thinking of how cool this all is, it's about time there was someone cool and non psycho like in my life. Things are getting more and more interesting everyday. :D

Overall, 2009 has ended pretty amazingly, seeing everyone, lack of arguments and all. 2010 is looking very promising.

Proper update coming soon.x

It's awesome, this time off to work to actually think about things other than what's gonna go wrong next and playing catch up.

Saw James, Will and peoples tonight... It's been longer than I realized, haha, lotsa going over tales of California earlier in the year.

An interesting day... Personally...

Bad hangover though, big update coming soon.x.

It's been a long time since I wrote anything here that was Public.

OK the other week I finally went out with a girl called Kathy. Now, I was thinking this time - "I like this girl, so far she doesn't seem like an idiot so play it different" and so I did. And like, we went and saw Paranormal Activity and yeah, it rocked. I drove her home and it was amusingly awkward... No goodbye kiss, different right? So, good things come to those who wait yeah? *laughs*. In all honesty, I didn't want things to be the same.

So I drove off feeling good about the evening, but at the back of my mind I kinda thought we may not speak again. Now that just wouldn't do, but again - different "Ok, so just wait and see..." I'm so tired of meeting these crazy girls, now Kathy is crazy - but in a particularly good way. So, last Friday we went for a drink, and I guess that's where things changed, for the better. It seems right, there is soooo a spark, right from her argument about me driving after having only two beers, (I secretly appreciated that. Alot. Well, guess it's not gonna be a secret for much longer!) to the coffee back at her house. Ok, so I'm not gonna let this sound cheesy, I'm gonna be logical for a change; Kathy has a great personality, can hold a conversation but, equally importantly, can have a laugh. Oh, and ofcourse she's raaaaather pretty. Is that the criteria, I think it is! The best thing is, there's no pressure. Whatever happens from here is cool.

All this is a big deal to me after all the crap that's been going on the past few years, I vowed to not have another Christmas / year like that... And I've made it, no more drama, no more wasting my time. I'm surrounded by good people, and I am fully me once again. Nothing is going to change that.

Things are gonna change even more dramatically early next year, I'm finally on the right path. So maybe this is growing up.

This public entry, December 22. It's a... Moment.

-D xx

And so here I am, I'm back in England.

The US was crazy, amazing experience but not so on the fun factor. Good times though.

Being in California, Arizona and Nevada and driving hundreds of miles everyday watching each town fade into the next, tree after tree, hill after hill made me think about Sarah a lot.  Bring her back, from that guy? No... I'm torn over that still. How lame.

I am so very very very tired of making a mess.

And so worn out.

¦¦¦

So this is it... The last day in England before I leave.

Woah I'm getting pretty excited now, I've waited for so long and I'm FINALLY going.

Didn't get in til like 7am this morning so I've not been awake very long, gonna like totally hurry up and finish packing before going for a few drinks.

Then up early tommorow and onto that super dooper plane to the west fucking coast... Wooooooo! :)

I'm gonna take like a zillion photos, I have like two 512mb memory cards for my mobile phone which has a 2mp camera so shud be allllll good!

So... Here we go, Dane is getting to do what he does best... Meet loadsa random people, travel, go to the states, and tour and rock out. I think that's what I like most about me, I can embrace pretty  much anything I throw myself head first into.

So goodbye for now, stay safe, drink your milk and all that. Oh, and remember...

LIVE FOR THE MOMENT NOW!

Not long to go now... I'm stressed though, with packing, with work, with arrangements.

It's unlike me, I need to chill out.

Oh and I've lost my voice.

Fuck her, who does she think she is coming out with something like that? Amber needs to stop pretending to be mature.

So the weekend was mad, but rar rar rar they all are. Fuck yeah... Or not, I'm not happy today really. I'm kinda, annoyed. I feel anxious... And tired, yet I'm still sat here writing bullshit and talking to a girl I don't even like, oh and Sarah... But that's ok, cause Sarah is someone I do like. And that's kinda like my permanent problem lol.

I spent a long while last night at Katies, kinda trashed off my face on an assortment of liquors, wine and beer. Ohhh yes. But we had meaningful and good conversation. I wish I could bottle and sell the feelings I feel when I'm with Sarah... I'd make millions. (don't need your money) That girl...  And the conversation flowed, and my witty remarks caused smiles and lots of laughter. But then that one phone call, from him, and she was gone. And then I'm there, with so many people but at the same time alone. And I'm looking at the stars, and I'm wondering... Wondering why that very person, one girl in the whole wide world still means so much to me. And then Hannah shouts over "Dane, Dane... BOYOOOO!" or something crazy like that, and I'm back... I'm back in and thinking, thinking that... Well I can't remember, I just forgot.

So today, late to work again. Tired of the bus already and feeling lonely. It's too hot at work and there's no-one nice to hang out with, there's not even that cute chick to chat to. How I wish we could just go for a coffee break or something, man that place sucks.

But tommorow is a new day, and anything could be instore for me. Roll on America, roll on California... But right now, I'm not feeling it. Nothing's packed.

I'm very tired.

My thoughts are out there.x.

"don't wait..."

So I gotta head down to Court tommorow... I guess the drive home from work today was the last drive I'll be taking for a long while.

But hey. :)

Crazy weekend, I ended up getting to Phils at like 3am last night once we'd left rocking out downtown... Sooo bad, I had work at 8, he musta turnt the alarm off or something cause I woke up and it was like 7:30 and I was like "shiiiiiiit!!!" so I had so like russsh so much, I ended up getting to work 1 hour late, but luckily the boss was cool with it all.

I was pretty suprised this evening, Amy added me to msn, one of the cute Ohio Students we've been hanging out with. She's one of those people I met and instantly liked, and I know I -always- say this when it happens, but it's been a while. Too bad she's only in England for another 4 weeks. :( Best make the most of it!

One of the other Ohio Students is kinda on my case, she's like beginning to really grate on me now, I think she likes me though so I don't wanna be mean or anything. Gah.

But yeah, so court, I've a good feeling about it... Suprisingly. I'm not in the least bit nervous.

I nearly lamped some Canadian guy in Walkabout last night, jeeeeesus, what an ass.

Good times though, not long now til tour!!

Wooooo!

-Dane

I'll never get you.

Lot's has been going lately, lot's and lot's... And I FUCKING love it, cause I'm not here to sit around, I'm hear to sing the anthems of our lives and change lives. And slowly, but surely I'm learning the ways of the world.

Let's not ignore the problems in the world, right now I'm focusing on 'people' what is wrong with soeciety... Why are some people so nasty towards each other!?

My Moms boyfriend has done it this time... He's banned from coming by the house this time, after being arrested once again. What a loser seriously, and fifty off years old he tried to start on me last week at my first part of the birthday celebrations and ended up coming off worse. The guy is a serious loser.

Ok what else has happened? Well my whole birthday thing rocked, basically people came over for a BBQ friday but it rained so we did it at Doms instead, then walked down to mine and had some BEEEER :D and music, and fun really... Everyone had a good time, and I don't know why but even if I make minimum effort to organize something everyone still has a real good time... It's crazy, when other people do that it sometimes ends up being a flop. Saturday me and Phil went downtown london and arranged for everyone else to meet us at 7, just before we went to meet everyone Phil spotted this chick walking by us with some sweet tats, so he was like "Hey nice tats!" and an American accent returned a "thanks! :)" and so then I turned about and started chatting to them with Phil... So like we got chatting, and I found out they're from Ohio, the same state as Sarah :) :) :) plus they're all kinda cute so we asked them along with us, but ended up meeting up with them like an hour or so later... And it was like fate, or something crazy like that cause we really hit off with them, they're here for like another 4 weeks and we've been hanging out with them a fair bit, they're coming along tonight...

To KATIES birthday party, woooo! It's also Pauls b-day so it's allllllll gonna rock.

Love life, it's amazing.

Under a month til I go to CALIFORNIA on tour!!

and Ronnie Day's journal entries rock harder, so check him out!

I promise I won't let you down if you take my hand tonight

Dane xxx

Fuuuuuck

I'm in a little trouble.

Got arrested last night... Baaaaaad things.

I just keep on driving, I know it won't be long.

I don't have time for seriousness right now, it drives me mad.

I don't have time for seriousness with that Amy chick, that's for sure... What have I gone and done now! Eeek, she stayed at mine Friday = bad things. I used to be someone who loved the idea and cutsieness of relationships... Now, I guess I want fun more than anything keeping the rest reserved for someone really special if they come along. Amy likes me way more than I like her. So Dane got it wrong again, still. No worries.

Band, the whole thing is still feeling like a waste of time... I felt uplifted when we started putting together a PROPER song, but it's all going to pot again - fucking idiots.

So, the tour is payed for... I'm broke, I spent too much last weekend and this week for some reason I'm not too happy. Oh, and the weather sucks. But I'm trying more than usual, to be like "fuck it" cause worries are worthless.

My job has way passed it's sell by date with me, I need something new and I need it fast, and I need more money to live - I'm in dire need of somewhere new to live.

Then there's her... And the silly crush I still have, wow. Next week might be cool. =]

Sarah is on my mind... And she shouldn't be. There's no escaping though... A year ago tommorow.

this is my story, listen carefully...

Life is funny. I always say this.

I had another amazing weekend, this time in a different way. The highlight of my week was obviously Amy, she came up yesterday for Charlies party... Which didn't pan out too well, but hey, Amy was there! We had a laugh and she got to meet some of my friends, espesh Phil and Hannah... She also got to meet Sarah, not that I planned that one. Jesus, what is up with that girl, she was behaving so oddly all night long. We kinda argued about it today, cause obviously... Sarah is always right and I'm always wrong. Haha, she'll never learn! Luckily, I've this great new ability to laugh alot of silly things off. Good people matter. Amy matters. :)

So things are looking good, I really like her... It's crazy though, so much stuff has happened so quick. I hope it doesn't fuck up, she does really seem to like me though. She got a little upset last night when we went to sleep, and like, we pretty much spent the whole night talking about stuff that was upsetting her and that. She thinks I'm amazing for that... But I mean that's just me? But anyway, she rocks. She kinda invited me, well not kinda... She has, invited me to her leavers prom... I was kinda shocked at first, I mean I've not known her long. It's like right after I get back from the states, which seems kinda far off yet. I mean we could like, not be talking anymore by then nevermind seeing eachother... But we'll see, I've got a good feeling about it all. Imma try and arrange to take her out this week, and like ask her out properly :) We'll see.

So stuff is good, saw Stu over the weekend too... Hahaha that guy, he rocks so hard. Something tells me it's gonna get me in trouble tommorow tho lol. Band practice tonight kicked ass, got there well late and nearly set the place on fire... Buttttt... We've started putting together  a KICK ASSSSSS new song. It really sounds, like, catchy and perfect. I can't wait to get it finished. Stu also wants to play in a band with me lol.

So my holiday is sorted, I'm broke now lol... But there's so much to look forward to, as small as having a laugh at work and some cookies to flying out to California and having Amys prom to look forward to when I get back!

So, in the words of Ayyyynand, "it's all good in the hood"

hahaha xxxx

Wow, wow, wow... I'm feeling awesome.

I've had the most immense weekend, it's been crazy! Friday I got off work and drove down to Woking for Amy's party, got a little nervous once I pulled up outside the house. I go up to the top floor (it was huge) and there's all these chicks in bunny outfits, hardly any clothes... I was the only guy there for aaaaages! But it was Amy I was interested in... She's well lovely.

So we danced, and got drunk... And I guess things happened we both regret, but it's ok, the next day we spent hours talking about, well, everything! She's totally awesome, there's no pressure with her for anything... Makes a change to meet a girl like that. Think we've arranged to go out Friday, she's gonna come up here. :)

Last night, Saturday... I went out with Dom and that, only this time Stuart came, I've seen alot of that dude lately... He's a really cool guy, it's fukin weird but he's someone I actually enjoy being around, good laugh, on the right wave length and not a dick head. :) Gonna go see his band play Wednesday, soooo good.

Today I kinda woke up being like "woaaah" ummm... Went down the golf club for a beer with Stu and then got ready for band practice, had a cider, went there... Fuck, it sucks. It's serious bollocks, I can sing but the band can't play, it's as simple as that. The drummer is cool, and our er... New bass player. But Alex and Tom... Fuck sake. Got home from band and ended up goin down another pub for a quickie, Hannahs new boyf came. Not fully sussed him out yet, but he seems normal... Which is a good start for Hannah lol!

So yeah, work tommorow then rest, tuesday will rock, wednesday will rock, thursday... Er... Dunno and Friday I get to see Amy again!!! :) :) :)

*dances* xxx

A crush :)

Haha, wow... She's so lovely. I prolly made it kinda obvious, lol.

And well, I'm not talking about Amy, but I'm seeing her Friday and that'll be pretty awesome too!

Haha, doing a gig tommorow night... Muchos free beer, and some cash I think so! =]

Woooo, *Waits for phone to ring* haha, wow, how cute but how painfully lame... If only she knew.

Sometimes, you win some and you lose some. We all know that right?

I've been doing alot lately, which is cool... Been a little ill too. Also been a little down I guess, looking in the mirror and thinking "fuck, I'm gonna lose the battle". Yes, that's what I'm like.

So there was easter in England, and I had like a total of 6 days off work, which felt like ages and was kinda fun-filled, on the Friday I drove to woking to meet Maddy (at last) which was cool, but kinda strange... It was her 18th party and aside from some general asses and people a little far up their own asses, I met this rather pretty chick called Amy... It always feels like the same thing lately though I guess, I'm getting bored of it, maybe she's different' but to be honest, she's prolly not. We had fun though and we've stayed in touch, exchanging lengthy emails almost on a daily basis... She seems really sweet, apparently though I'm the first guy shes kissed since breaking up with her guy of like 2-3 years? Eeek! Anyway, cut a long story short I'm going a party at hers next Friday :) so I'm pretty stoked about that!

On the saturday I went out with Phil and we had a good time, as we do... Met some random americans from Oregon, they were a good laugh... Didn't realise they were like 30 something tho lol!

What does today have instore? Hmmmm... Band practice and karaoke I reckon, Imma try and make it a team effort tonight and drag everyone down to watch me, the king of karaoke haha, well in NW London anyway. haha.

Work tommorow, work sucks... Someone take me on a pre vacation, vacation?

I feel fucking ill.

ill
ill
illlllllllll

I spoke with Charlotte for a long time today.

Yeah, but then I sat back... And I thought, come on Dane... Just don't get sucked in. You have like a 1 to a million chance of dating this girl. That said, I've been stuck here all day feeling crap so I'm beggining to get myself down. She seems really nice, but then so do many.

Something in me has changed today. No more fucking around now.

Last night rocked, yeah.

Party at Doms house... It felt kinda like old times, when Dane get's the girl at every party... Oh and I so did. Don't think Dom would be too pleased if he found out I made out with some chick in his bed though... LOL!

Good times, Dom, Paul, Mo, Tom etc are ledges... It's all cool.

Really hope I get to hang out with that chick again, maybe go on a date... It's been a while since I met someone at a party who genuinely seems really nice and is worth the chase. Ha, she asked for my number though so we'll see... Maybe she liked me, or maybe she was just drunk too!

But yeah, and this other hottie decided to have a pen fight with me... Haha my foot is covered in pen, and my arms and for some reason there's eyeliner on my hands and face!

This is a very good start to April... And there's more than ever ahead!

Ohhh arranging to see Steph up north soon too! :P :P :P

Love.x

So here I am.

I'm back, not from afar... Just back in my room with a cup of tea and a hangover... Yup.

I've not updated here in a few weeks mainly because I've been busy... Things have improved over the past few weeks, so much is going on!

MAINLY... I'm flying out to LA in June for one night before starting a 7 day trek the next day then spending two nights in San Francisco... I'm sooooooo off my face with excitment... I've totally got something to look forward to and I've dreamed of going to the states since I was tiny!

I've been hanging out with Dom and Paul alot lately, last weekend we had such a random time before crashing out at Mo's flat in Kilburn... Good fun! Last night they were at the pub with me, han and ben... Good laughs again, I love it when things go well like that. Tonight I'm heading to a party at Doms, pretty looking forward to that... There's also robs party wednesday cause he's back from Germany and then off to guildford Friday for another party! So stoked!

I also need to start figuring out what to do for my birthday in May lol, I don't wanna get so engrossed in sorting out my US trip that I kinda mess up my b-day, I'd love another party at mine but I doubt it's gonna be possible. We'll see though, there's still a while to go.

I'm really looking forward to some time off work soon too, deffo a well deserved break.. Things are getting pretty confrontational lately. It's all good though lol. I love dealing with people.

So now I guess I shud get dressed lol... Woooo! I think I'm gonna get in trouble tonight, cause Dom's sister is such a hottie... Eeeek!

x o x o x